My Thoughts on Divorce

I was blessed to live an ideal home as described on paper as a married household with religious values and sufficient income to meet needs and provide most wants. I have wonderful loving parents who have worked hard to provide support and resources to meet my needs throughout my life. This upbringing has not kept me sheltered from the concept and reality of divorce (the separation of a man and wife ending a marriage).

I remember having a conversation with my mom when I was in middle or high school. It was after an award ceremony for those who had achieved a high academic standard for a specific grading period. My mom and I discussed the recipients of the award and recognized a common trend, that probably about 90% of them came from homes in which the marriage of their parents was still intact. This trend continued to be one that I noticed as I witnessed a variety of awards be given to me and my peers. While those with divorced parents were not out of the running for such awards they just did not seem to have the same support and advantages that we did.

In an article by Paul R Amato entitled, “The Impact of Family Formation Change on Cognitive, Social and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation,” Amato identified several areas in which children suffer when the family that they are raised in is less than ideal. Most of these examples such as higher rates of depression or suspensions from school have many factors that are a part of their causation. Divorce is just one factor that effects the individual, it is however important for that one factor to be controlled if possible.

There has been much taught about family importance by leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. They have released a document entitled: The Family: A Proclamation of the World” (Here is a link https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=true if you have not read it I highly recommend it). This document explains the importance of the family unit for the best possible opportunity to nurture and strengthen children. When striving to follow it’s teachings we are able to give the future generation of leaders the best possible chance of excelling and growing.

When thinking about marriage one should use much caution in choosing a companion. As stated by Elder Dallin H Oaks the best prevention of divorce is to choose carefully who you marry. No marriage will be perfect because no person is but most problems, especially those that are a matter of difference of opinion can be resolved and worked through by using principles of love and forgiveness.

While not all situations are ideal and some abusive and other harmful situations ultimately lead to a divorce it is our responsibility as adults to make a commitment to our spouses and children to do all that we can to protect marriage and love in the family.

The effects of divorce on a child

Resources:

Amato, P. (Fall, 2005). The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional well-being of the next generation. The Future of Children, 15(2), 75-96
http://m.blog.hu/ka/kapcsolatsuli/image/valas_2.jpg

Oaks, D.H. (May 2007). Divorce. Ensign.