Beware of the horsemen!

The first great command is to love the Lord thy God with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our mind. The second is to love thy neighbor as ourselves. Elder Wirthlin said, “The Savior exemplified that love and taught it even as He was tormented by those who despised and hated him….love is the beginning, the middle, and the end of the pathway of discipleship. It comforts, counsels, cures, and consoles. It leads us through valleys of darkness and through the veil of death. In the end love leads us to the glory and grandeur of eternal life.”

This second commandment is very important to live by in our marriages. Even when we are with the love of our lives we will have hard times. Marriage is not easy and we can easily get frustrated. When we don’t have our priorities right in our marriage we can slowly drift a part. Charity is the pure love of Christ. When we have charity in our marriages we will be successful.

This week I learned about some things that threaten to destroy this sacred bond of marriage. Contempt, anger, lack of forgiveness among other things. In his book entitled, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," John Gottman describes the horsemen- or negative interactions that ultimately destroy relationships. When those in a relationship criticize one another, make each other feel inferior or of less worth their relationship is endangered. Beware of the horseman that threaten to steal the joy in your relationships!

A visual example of the divide that can occur because of the horsemen

Sources: Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2000). Die 7 Geheimnisse der glücklichen Ehe. Düsseldorf: Von Schröder.